Thursday, October 13, 2011

Analytical Data Proves my Sister is the Best in the World

Normally I'm not one to brag, but today for my blog post, I would like to take this time to say that I have the best sister in the world.  This is a very bold statement, and some may question my authority on the matter.  However, in addition to having my own sister (which I have now had for almost 21 years),  I know lots of people that are sisters and lots of people that have sisters.  Because of my tremendous experience in this area, I feel that I can offer a fair and unbiased judgement on the matter.  And as though it needed it, I will prove my point-- and because I am an engineer and I believe in science, I will use quantitative reasoning.

  1. My sister is 10% happier than other average sisters
  2. The standard deviation of my sister's beauty is 6.7 less than any other sample (n>500) taken from the general population of sisters
     3. My sister is not crazy (This is just binary)
     4. My sister has 2X the cooking ability of standard sisters
     5. My sister laughs 8.6 louder at my jokes, than other sisters
     6. My sister is in the optimal athletic region-She runs 5k's like they're going out of style. (See plot below)

7. My sister is majoring in Public Health which means she gives a care at a rate of 9.3 cares/min vs. the current sister-industry standard of 4.6 cares/min (that's almost 2.1 times faster)
8. My sister has the shiniest golden blonde hair that is equivalent to the sun in lumens (3.75×1028 lm, ya that's a lot of lumens).
9. My sister is 4.69 more spiritual than regular sisters, but cries -2.6 less (If her ox died, I'm pretty sure she could bring it back just like that girl in Legacy or was it Oregon Trail?).
10.  My sister goes to 11.

Anyone who has actually met my sister knows of her sheer awesomeness, but sometimes it's nice to have the numbers to back things up.  Anyway, to my lil' Sis---I luv Ya.


Carolyn said...

Where did you get my clarinet picture? And is that what is holding me back from being the best sister? Darn it.

Bradwich said...

I think it was in Legacy after the ox died of dysentery. Or maybe I'm mixing things up a little bit.

Nate C. said...

I was going to argue that I had the best sister in the world, and then I realized it was the same sister and I gave an approving head nod.

Lynnette said...

Carolyn - have you ever revived a dead ox? I know I haven't and probably couldn't. How can we even compete with that?